Little Bit Longer
by melskylark
Summary: Valerie muses about the love of her life while waiting patiently for death.


**Little Bit Longer**

**Summary:** Valerie muses about the love of her life while waiting patiently for death.

_**A/N:** This little piece has been bugging me for days and just needed to get out. I already have a long Valerie/Ruth piece in the making, but this one just needed to get out of my system before I could focus on anything else. As usual, I don't own anything and make no money from this._

I am dieing.

I don't have any problem admitting it to myself and I'm not scared. In fact, it's almost a relief to realize that all of this will be over soon. Soon, the pain will end, and I can finally be free of this place. Soon, I will no longer suffer the agony of this disease they gave to me, and I will no longer feel the hate that wells up in my soul when I see them. Soon, we can be together again.

Whenever I cough now, there is blood on my hand. It's strange, but the blood reminds me of your roses. It reminds me of the first time one of them cut my wrist as I reached in to pluck one for the table. You laughed as I showed it to you with tears in my eyes, carefully wiping away the drop of crimson and kissing the wound as if I were a child. Your kiss did take away the pain. It always took away the pain.

I remember every kiss we shared, how each one of them made me feel whole and loved. Your lips were so soft, so sweet, so perfect. The first time your lips touched mine, the world stopped spinning. Nothing mattered except for you, the way your hair felt between my fingers, the way your body molded perfectly against mine, the way my heart began to soar with love and beat in time with yours. It didn't matter who saw or that we had work to do, those things held no meaning. You and I were finally together.

It felt like I knew who you were before we even met. Like we were meant to find one another, and I was just living a half life until I looked into your beautiful eyes. Every day we were together reminded me of how blessed I truly was to find you. So many people walk through this world searching for the person that makes them feel complete. How lucky I was to find my other half.

I remember the day they took you. The day you never came home. I don't know how I knew something was wrong, but when you didn't come home when you said you would, I already knew I would never see you again. That didn't stop me from praying and hoping that you would walk through our door, laughing about some strange thing that made you late, and then taking me into your arms and telling me it would be all right. I prayed that I would wake up and you would be lying next to me, that this was all a dream, that you were home and safe. But I never woke up from the nightmare. I knew that you were already dead. A part of me died with you that night. All I could hope for was that you would wait for me in heaven with your roses. It didn't take long for them to come for me, too. But it didn't matter anymore, you were already gone. I was already dead without you.

One of the doctors asked me why I continued to stay with you, even though I knew it would mean this hell when they found out about us. I didn't answer her, I never do, but it made me think. As my body shivers from fever, blood oozing from the wounds all over my body, I ask myself if it was worth it. Every time I think about it, reliving every memory we created together, I know it was. A single day with you is worth all of this. I wouldn't trade those three years we shared together for anything, even if they offered me my life. A life without you would be meaningless. Without you, I am nothing. With you, I had everything.

I see Death patiently waiting in the corner of my cell. God, I never thought I would be so happy to see that which filled me with such fear when I was younger. I know my time has almost arrived. The only thing I pray for now is that you were never here, that you never suffered the way I've suffered, and your death was quick and painless.

Please be patient, my love. Just wait a little longer, it won't be long now. Soon we'll be together again.

I can already smell your roses.


End file.
